Hatin' on Shakespeare, Joyce, Steinbeck, Twain...

There’s just no accounting for taste.

Early on in my relationship with My Better-half, we had our first fight over whether one needed to read the classics. It was a doozy.

We were attending a reading of a popular author that she liked.

“I used to be you,” the author said to an English major in the audience. “I tried to read all of the classics. It was hard. And boring.”

She paused. “Kids, you don’t have to read Anna Karenina. It doesn’t make you a bad person.”

That was the beginning of the first fight between myself and My Better-half. Some people argue about where to have dinner, leaving the toilet seat up, and whose turn it is to do the dishes. We argued over Anna Karenina all the way home.

I love Anna Karenina. And I hated that the author–in a position to influence new readers–was dismissing the need to grapple with and come to know great fiction, even if the writing is archaic by today’s standards. On the other hand, My Better-half was relieved that someone was willing to give readers license to not read the classics.

Needless to say, we’re still friends (My Better-half and I, that is). And I still love Anna Karenina.

Of course, I’m not such a fan of Jane Austin, but My Better-half loves Mansfield Park.

Sometimes, there’s just no accounting for taste.

Fortunately, there are those who are good at expressing their distaste for the classics with wit and charm. Here are a few less than creative critiques posted by enterprising minds on Amazon (first found on Huffington Post Books).

“Othello” by William Shakespeare

Me doth not thinkift I understandifth this tale

★ ★

Shakespeare was a real cool person for his time. Unfortunately, his plays are not a real cool thing to read for my time. It is English and I speak English. I just don’t happen to speak Old English. Which is really ironic because I am old and speaking English. If you read slowly and put your thinking cap on, you will get the gist of what the story is about. Or! You can just purchase Cliff notes, etc. This story is exciting and full of action………..I Think?

Read the review here

“Ulysses” by James Joyce

Hard to Read

★

This is a tough book to read unless you understand several languages and are on LSD. I may have thirty or forty more years to live so maybe I’ll get through it.

Read the review here

“The Grapes of Wrath” by John Steinbeck

The Grapes of Wrath, a great masterpiece?

★

This book was rather long and boring then adventerous and fun. I have read many books written by John Steinbeck such as: The Red Pony, Of Mice and Men and etc. If you want to read this book then go ahead but I would rather recommend Of Mice and Men or The Red Pony.

Read the review here

“The Adventures of Tom Sawyer” by Mark Twain

this was a horrible book

★

this was one of the most boring books I have ever read. DO NOT READ THIS BOOK! It may be considered a classic of literature, but i prefer a book with a plot. I can’t believe that some people actually liked this spineless piece of junk that some call a book. The book was somewhat well written, but the story lacked EVERYTHING. Who cares whether Mark Twain wrote the book or whether Aohohfe Lkahfhagauy wrote the book? IT STUNK!

Read the review here

“Anna Karenina” by Leo Tolstoy

Didn’t keep my interest

★ ★

Parts of the book were discussing political views nothing to do with Anna. It appeared their were many main characters not only Anna..

Read the review here

“Fahrenheit 451” by Ray Bradbury

Target Practice

★

Heyyyy I had to read this book for school and it was the worst thing I ever read. A worthless good for nothing piece of junk! Actually it is good for something. I took this book with me to rifle practice and i shot at this instead of the target. I got busted but hey it was worth it. Mail me if you want a picture of my shooting.

Read the review here.